2:14 and Starbucks!

So, this morning, I got up. I mean I got up really early. I wanted to get to work early so that I would be able to leave early, even though I would still be covering my usual 8 hours. I decided to get started on my reading for the discipleship course that I am currently taking at my church. I opened the book and as my eyes jumped from one word to the next, they stopped, transfixed on one scripture that would be most difficult for me to take to heart. What scripture and why? Well, let me start by saying that for those who know me, they know that I often have a comment for everything. If I want to do something, I feel the need to justify, although no one is asking for justification, my wanting to do it should be enough, I don’t really have to answer to anyone but nonetheless I’ll make comment, quite arbitrary in fact as to why I am and why I want to do something. For as much thought that goes into defending my wants, you should hear the thoughts that go into defending what I don’t want to do. I may murmur, roll my eyes, suck my teeth, sigh hard enough to dislodge a lung and stare into heaven with a perplexed look, “Why me?” or “Good grief!” I’d like to take a moment to pat myself on the back and admit that although I may get the adult equivalent of a tantrum, often called an attitude by today’s colloquial standards, I still do what I feel like is the right thing to do. But, I see that if I were to embody the scripture that caused me stop reading, my life would be more rewarding and I would be at greater peace with myself. In Philippians 2:14, the apostle Paul wrote, “Do all things without murmuring and disputing,” and immediately I said to myself, how the heck am I supposed to do that. I mean, do everything without complaining, or murmuring, or speaking my mind. In a word…impossible; who could do such a thing and why would they want to. Maybe I’m reading it out of context, maybe it doesn’t really mean to do everything…Oh, you see my dilemma, but I decided, after my mental complaint ridden tirade that I’d do my best to try and start living that way.



I got in my car and made my way to Starbucks. I wanted a grande Vanilla Latte so bad that my mouth was puckered and my senses were begging for a small jolt of caffeine. As I pulled into the line that was for the drive thru, I sat, patiently waiting for my turn. Given the layout of the parking lot, only one car may be in line behind the person at the teller or the order box. This creates an interested dilemma. Persons, in their vehicles may approach the small drive thru lane from the east side or from the north side of the building. This means that one person will have to make a left to get into the lane while the person approach from the south side may just drive in. Now imagine being desperate for a hot cup of coffee. I was next; it was my turn to make the left to go into the drive thru lane when a tsunami occurred to test my tempestuous sensibilities. In short, a woman parked her car, a man exited the store. She walked in front of my car at the same time as the man who was leaving the store, which opened; however slight an opportunity for the woman to my right to jettison her compact luminous BMW into the line in front of me. I roared, felt steam launching from my nostrils, felt my shirt starting to rip and noticed that my eyes had turned green. I was “Hulking” the…you know, I was really mad! It took me a few minutes, but I thought what harm has occurred as a result of this. How inconvenienced am I now. If I were in the same situation would I have waited for the people to pass before jumping into line out of turn...Well…No. I would have began murmuring that they were taking too long and would have jumped into the line while thinking it sucks for “them” that somebody walked in front of their car. Now if I could just figure out a way to tie this into what I was talking about earlier I would. Gimme a second…

They're All Against Me!

I amuse myself sometimes with how I think and how I react to things without thinking - despite the fact that I consider myself a "thinker!" It's funny because I have a tendency to think my friends are attacking me, or are against me, or don't want to see me succeed, when in reality they are being what a friend should be. I'll never "get over myself" per say because what goes on with me is important to me - isn't what happens to "you" important to "you" - but I'll learn to do and to act in a way that is settling for me. When you know who you are you can stand on the shore and let the waves crash into you. As the water rolls back and your feet get buried in the sand you find yourself anchored where you stand. As the waves continue to roll in, the water and sand around you moves, but you don't because you're where you need to be and where you want to be. But, sometimes a wave will come that's big enough to knock you out of your space, when it does, if you know where you should be standing next you'll be fine. If this doesn't make sense, my apologies. I'm sleepy and I'm going to call it a night early. Ciao.

Just $7.84

I had an opportunity to live missionally today and I missed. I let it pass me by, I'm guessing because I felt like a silent observer to the sadness playing out before me. Here I was in the food court of Horton Plaza, persons all around partaking on pretzels with mustard dipping sauce, cinnamon buns and hot dogs when a homeless man approached the food station I stood in front of. He held up his finger to indicate to the cashier to wait a moment as he reached for his money. He pulled out what looked to 5 or 6 bucks and asked the cashier how much the number one combo was.

The cashier said, "7.84."

The homeless man told him, "I will be right back."

Using one leg, he pulled himself away from the cash register. The kids, probably no older than 16 or 17, jeered and snickered to themselves as he rolled away. They laughed at him and mocked his appearance. I didn't say anything. I wished for a moment I could show them that so many of us, who live in a home, are one paycheck away from being in the same situation. I wanted for a moment to let the kids know that this man was still human, and despite his being homeless, deserved a chance to eat. I wanted to judge them for being so reckless with their taunts, but however brazen they were, I too was to be blamed. You see I had a couple bucks in my pocket and had just received an order for the very thing the man leaving in a wheel chair had just asked the price of, and while I sucked my teeth in disgust at the kids that were taunting him, I realized that I was the fool in the scenario because it was on my heart to help him, regardless of whether or not he "needed" my help, and I didn't do it. Given another chance I'd have tapped him on the shoulder and bought the meal that he didn't have the money to purchase for himself and would have walked away knowing that I did for others as I'd want them to do for me if I were in the same situation.