The Saturday Breakfast Gibson Call

If you're having a problem, or are curious how about how to lose weight, teach a baby to read, be a positive thinker, become a house flipper, learn good investment strategies, improve your computer skills, or even use an indestructible knife then early morning infomercials are for you. I like that the common theme to all of them are, "We have real life testimonials; these people are not paid actors." Yes, yes, they don't have a SAG card, but I'm sure they're getting something out of it.
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Have you ever broken up with somebody? The other person hasn't really done anything to "deserve" your ending the relationship; in fact they've been quite good. They listen to you, love you and try their best to help you with your goals. But, because you're feeling as though it is too much or they actually expect progress or change from you, you decide to end it. Then, a month or two later you get a phone call from them. You pick up the phone with the obligatory, "Hello." You go through the small talk formalities asking and answering questions about how you've been and what you've been up to. Then you start talking about all of your new hobbies, and the things that you've purchased and the extra-curricular activities that you are now involved in. With all the extra time on your hands, not being with the other person, or being in the relationship, you scream how free you are now and how much you're enjoying your new life. All the while the person on the other end of the phone knows you're lying. They say, "The truth is, I called because I miss you. I miss you so much. Everyday, I think about you and wonder where you are and what you are doing. I sit around and hope that you'll open the gift I left you 2,000 years ago. I ask my angelic friends if you're ok. I called because I love you and no matter where you go or what you do, I will always love you." It's at that moment that the phone call gets weird. You start to remember all the things you did wrong in the relationship, how you felt justified for leaving, how you left to "search" for what you "really" wanted, only to find that what you really needed and wanted is on the other end of the phone. A real decision has to be made instantly, as you're left to ponder, momentarily, if you will reciprocate the openness and vulnerability that was just shared with you. You know that if you don't tell the truth, you'll only be the one who remains miserable, and you know that they will call you back. You decide, I'll tell the truth, "Yes, I miss you too. Do you think I could meet up with you this Sunday. I heard that you're going to be at church on the campus of UCSD. I hear that you spend time with people there during the week and you like to personally visit on Sundays; would that be cool with you?" They respond, "I'll be there. I will see you on Sunday."

Yeah, that has been my relationship with God lately. I've been trying for years to justify why I've not loved God the way that he loves me and I haven't been able to do it. Those phone conversations are the instances when I close my eyes to pray; He knows everything I am going to say and everything that I need, God just wants to hear me say it and needs me to believe what I know to be true; He loves me enough to send his only son to die for me - my belief in Him gives me eternal life and a chance to fellowship with Him eternal in heaven. Great stuff!
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I scratched an itch that I've had for a few years yesterday. I played my new guitar for so long yesterday that my fingers started cramping. I was at Guitar Center for 3 and 1/2 hours yesterday. While I was there a salesman approached me and said "Man, you sound really good. You must be into jazz; those are some beautiful chords." We started talking, a little musician small talk; what music he plays, who his influences are." Thinking the conversation was over he, I went back to playing an inexpensive guitar, as guitars go, that I was playing. He then said that he had a brand new, never been played before Gibson ES-335 in the back and that he'd like to get it out and let me jam on it for a while. When the guitar case opened it popped like a cold soda. Immediately I could smell the freshness of the wood and the lacquer needed to give it it's illustrious finish. It was lightweight, smelled earthy and felt smoother than silk and cooler than marble. I plugged it in, tuned it up and the first note nibbled on my ear lobe. My heart started racing, and my fingers kept playing beautiful note after beautiful note. Not surprising to the salesman, but unique to me - I was falling in love. But, just like all the things in life, there is a season for every change, and that guitar was for the winter of my life; I'm still in spring. I asked how much these go for and then started a conversation with another patron named Mike. He told me that he really shouldn't be in the store, but that he liked coming in on the weekends to jam on the guitars he dreams about owning. He said that he had a cheaper one at home, and the love for creating music is what kept him coming back. We talked a while on that; music is never ending for me - the better I get, the more I realize I don't know, and the more I want to know. Getting back to the guitar, I decided to let it rest. I placed the silk-like covering back over the guitar, pulled it back again, said my goodbye, then replaced the covering. I whispered a little secret and closed the latches on the case. It wasn't as hard as I thought to say goodbye, but it was motivating because I immediately knew what it would take to see her again (is it me, or do you find it pathetic that I just referred to that guitar as a woman? LOL).
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I had a lot of fun this weekend; played some pool, went to breakfast with some really good friends, laughed and told jokes, and played some guitar. Now, I've only need to worship my Lord and I look forward to doing that soon as well. Ciao.

44th President of the United States - Barack Obama

I cannot even begin to fathom the magnitude of today. With a declaration of "Yes we can," we all did in electing the first African American president in Barack Obama. Today as he steps into the highest office in these United States and the world, a time for prayer and celebration is at hand.

Yeah, yeah!

I find that excuses are no good; nobody wants to hear them and more especially nobody really cares if the excuses are to your own detriment and not to theirs. When it is all said and done, self conservation is the rule and sacrifice is the exception. I believe that is why Jesus, Ghandi and Martin Luther King JR are such significant figures in history; just to name a few.
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So here I am, again failing to continue progressing in my goal to lose weight. I've not incorporated the gym into my routine. I almost hate that I'm not thin naturally or rather that I've eaten enough to put me in a state of being unnaturally unhealthy. I ask that those who read this blog help to keep me accountable. I will have a progress report on Saturday; right now, I fear the results of the scale's readings.
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I spent a little time talking to my dad on Saturday; good conversation full of sage advice from a sound reliable source. Life, as he described is a collection of opportunities that we embrace or walk away from. I walked away from one this weekend. When I think about, I believe my fear of the unknown and failing to adequately prepare left me feeling nauseated and uncomfortable. I did not take into account the amount of commitment that was required - with that giving up was unacceptable, but expected when a decision was made void of consulting God through prayer. I hear all the time that we ask God to bless our will instead of asking God to bless us/me to do His will.
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Something Learned, Something Heard!

This has been a week of firsts. I learned what it means to be "baptized" in corporate America.

I also learned how to get someone's attention when it is perceived that they aren't listening.

I learned that talking about doing something, and thinking you want to do something isn't the same as desiring to do something and needing to do something.

I learned that "life-changing" decisions aren't to made emotionally; sometimes thinking it out is a good thing.

I learned that success is the measure of overcoming failure. I learned that good friends are hard to come by. I learned that if you want to accomplish a goal, it is good to have friends and family involved in your wishes - that way you have motivation and assistance in your pursuits.

I learned that I'm getting old and don't like to stay out late - that is unless it is with great company.

I learned that I'm so competitive that when I get involved in a game, any game, there's eye rolling, sneers, and "here we go again" expressions on everyone's faces...just kidding, but I know I need to chill out a bit.

I learned that for all the destruction, hatred and bigotry that exists there is the other side that makes it all worth enduring. I learned that this world is truly wonderful when you're surrounded by loved ones.

Vindication

Last year I visited some friends in Temecula. It wasn't long before we were all gathered around the television playing Guitar Hero. All the little kids and most of the adults ran up to challenge a guitar player. They crushed me, absolutely crushed me, in fact, I couldn't even get past an easy song placed on an easy setting. They were playing advanced difficult songs. I was thinking, "I really suck at this game," then I read a quote from Slash (i.e., legendary and innovative former Guns N Roses guitarist), "Being good at guitar doesn't translate to playing Guitar Hero. Actually, you can play Guitar Hero better if you don't play guitar -" vindication at last. Now the question is, would somebody else label me a "good" guitar player, LOL!

Today's Soundtrack

Today I ask that you take a short trip with me. Please turn off the television and sit in silence. If today, as I'd like to imagine it to be, were a soundtrack, it would've started like this:

Waking up, I'd feel a little distraught; a bad movie, a good fight, an evening to sleep off remorse for being unable to apologize:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ61DPVQAQs

Hooky would be on mind; a drive up the coast in a drop top, a cool summer breeze and tinge of remorse from skipping out on work. I'd be happy and sad, elated yet feeling bad; nothing like some piano blues to lighten the mood:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0wRfM-gcCA

I'd reflect on this one day, ironically enough, it was today when I found a blessing in the simplest of words delivered from the beautiful heart of my friend and sister:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c42zu4f_WeA

I'd arrive at my destination and popping the trunk on my classic car, I'd lift out a vintage guitar case with weathered latches, frayed edges and more stories than years that I had on this planet. Snapping the locks I'd remove my custom Gibson ES-137 hollow body guitar and I'd take the stage with my heroes; they wouldn't know that they were singing about my girl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcH-jmmaY7Q

I'd take a seat, grab a drink and let the next act hit the stage. Yeah, it would be a classic tune performed by a contemporary and a legend alike:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EoJUkF3r7E

My girl would feel a little antsy; I'd toss a glance to the band. The lights would dim and we'd begin to sway:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG8giVJKQPI

We'd finish our dance; take a short walk on the coast. She'd share her dreams and I'd tell her of my travels. She'd want to go on a trip, to which I'd reply:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmQq6yLe2ww&feature=related

The night of dreaming has come to an end, as I walk her to her door, she doesn't invite me in but accepts my invitation for another night on the town. I'd grab her hand and whisper, "Thank you...in advance."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZQMYYFhLto

Getting in my car I'd drive off to hope I'd wake up another day with more dreams...

Thanks "Revolutionary Road..."

Every Sunday morning before church, I take a moment to put the television on mute. Currently it has been Boomer and T.J. that I'm requesting silence from so I may log onto www.postsecret.com. For some strange reason, I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. I want to find out if the pain others are enduring relate to or surpass my own. I was turned onto the site by an ex-girlfriend. On our first date, we went to a book store. We walked up and down each aisle until we found multiple Post Secret books. I marveled at the randomness...strangeness, uniqueness of all the entries. Some people talked about being racist against their own race, or secretly wishing some people would die, how they married the safe man, how they're Christians, but hated the idea of church. I read the secrets that people carry around but due to fear of uncertain reprisals, only feel safe in sharing their secret anonymously. I'm under the impression that we all have some, some worse than others, and most not even worth taking up time in a meeting to discuss, but nonetheless we all have them.

For me, I love watching movies. When I walk into the theater, I am of the mind that I am going to check out from my life. I am going to become the characters that I'm watching flicker in darkness. I am going to try and understand the message the director, the actors and the author of the screenplay are trying to convey. Of course the beauty in art is that the message is left to individual interpretation. I saw a movie tonight where courage was unceremoniously defined as conformity and radicalism, "outside the box" thinking was defined as lunacy. Strange then that the truth was that conformity is discombobulating and radicalism is courage. One character made the statement, "No one forgets the truth, we just get better at lying."

Are dreams truly attainable, or do they remain out of reach because the "truth" in why they aren't being pursued is so unnerving that the possibility of failure is unfathomable and disconcerting? It has been for me; after watching Revolutionary Road I'm asking myself what I will say about myself after a life changing experience? I am left to only surmising my mental state as being an optimistic realist - the reality of the dream doesn't often match the realness of attaining the dream.

The Only Time Failure is Permanent is When You Quit Trying!

Tomorrow, I am going to see myself in a video that tracks activities that have occurred at the place of worship I attend for the duration of 2008. The video is going to show the weight that I was at, and the weight that I am currently at. It is going to show that I have gained a significant amount of weight, in comparison to the same amount that I lost. I have gained back, to be completely candid 30+ pounds. I am disappointed with my apparent failure, but optimistic for what the future holds.

When I think about all of the things that I have lost as a result of being overweight, I am saddened, but reflective on the journey that has brought me to a point of knowing that I have to do something about it if I literally want to save my life. The funny thing about weight issues are that they are apparent. When you see someone that is overweight, they are stripped of any privacy when it comes to their failures. That can make for moments of feeling extremely vulnerable, feeling ashamed, wanting to hide behind bigger clothes and non-physical activities, and turning down and leaving behind dreams and desires because you don't feel like you fit in.

For every "overweight" person I've met, there is a story with their struggle. Their struggle is apparent, because the weight is often the first thing people see when they are seen. But thin people have problems too, not to play the thin-envy card, but every person living, regardless of age, gender, height, weight, orientation, religion, culture - has a vice, a struggle, an obstacle that prevents them from truly being all they can be or from truly enjoying all that they've worked for. I am no different in that regard; no different. When I am seen, you see my struggle. It has been food, but I refuse to let it win.

I am making a pledge; very public it is indeed, not only to myself, but to the readers of my blog - I intend to be here a long time so I have a goal of losing a "whole person" worth of weight in the next year and a half. I am going to check in periodically charting my progress. I am making my goal and then this blog will be the first in many to come where failure becomes success and what once left me feeling vulnerable will be the fuel to keep me strengthened and enabled. I am built to succeed. I have lost 5 lbs. this week, I've a few more to go. :-D

Root Canals and Mechanics!

I want you to take a short journey with me. It is my hope that when I finish you will understand the frustration that I am currently feeling. Imagine if you will the pain of a toothache. Your mouth is feeling numb, the pain thumbs in your mouth and reverberates all the way down you spine. The back of your neck throbs and the puddles forming in the corners of your eyes do little to ease the discomfort one tooth is causing to your entire body.

To end the pain, the be in relief, to again enjoy the taste of your favorite beverage and nuances of your favorite savory meal, you call your dentist. You meet them in the office and wait patiently for them to finish with whom they're currently seeing. Finally, you get to sit in the chair, nestling your head in the cup designed especially for the comfort of the patient. The dentist leans the chair back, turns on the overhead light, applies their latex gloves, covers their mouth, puts on their goggles, tells you to open your mouth, and they peer in using mirrors, and scrappers, and hooks only to tell you, "After looking at the X-rays and the inflammation around your tooth, I am going to have to do a root canal." You close your eyes and sit back embracing yourself for the upcoming pain.

Finally, the procedure is over, you get in your vehicle and go back home. After a couple of weeks, you get a call to meet your friends for a meal at your favorite restaurant to celebrate your recovery. On the way to the restaurant, your mouth begins to hurt again. You're nearly blinded by the pain as you pull into the parking lot. You then call the dentist to schedule an emergency appointment. After having paid for the first root canal, the dentist tells you that they pulled the wrong tooth, and asks you to pay for a second root canal. You think, "You must be out of your freakin' mind! Wha da hell are you talking about." Again the puddles form in your eyes and you try to access if it is a reflection of the pain you're feeling in your mouth, or the pain you're going to feel in your pocket.

That is how I feel right now, thanks to my *reliable* mechanic working on my car; to quote a friend of mine, "Freakin' A!"

Deluxe Stratocaster V-Neck

I played my dream guitar last night and I didn't like it. I was so disappointed. I had a lot of fun though. The night started when I felt spry, so I got up, put on my Kangol and hit the road. As I pulled into the parking lot, my windshield shined as bright as an angel's wings when Guitar Center came into view. I got out of my car and as soon as the double doors opened I felt like I was at home. I'm sure the elation felt by car enthusiast at a car show or chubby folk at a Vegas buffet is the same.

There were so many guitars; Fender's, Epiphone's, Gibson hollow body's, PRS. I started out on a Telecaster, nice, but not me. Then I played the Jazzmaster; loved the tone, but didn't like the feel. Next a Texas Fat Strat with one set of humbucker pickups, nice, but still not me. Then I called the salesman over and played the Deluxe Ash Stratocaster. It was absolutely beautiful to gaze at. The maple fretboard, the Abalone dot inlays. It was smooth and had a very rich tone. I really liked it but couldn't get my mind around paying the price that was being asked for it especially when I have a strat and I've already done some customizing to it. I put it down and then I played an Epiphone hollow body; that was it. I must've sat there for an hour or so falling in love with it. I even got two compliments from random strangers, they stopped and talked with me and even stood beside me to listen as I played; compliments are always nice. Having friends that will keep me grounded is priceless.

I told K and L the events that transpired at the music store, the playing the guitar, the compliments, the sweet sound of the guitar, "You know Will, they just work for Guitar Center and they only gave you the compliment so you'd buy the guitar;" consider me humbled! You know, I think K and L need a theme song; "K and L, K and L, that's what a friendship is...all about!" Maybe, "5...5...you only got 5 bucks!?!?!? (what's that about)" Anyway, I didn't buy the guitar. It cost a lot and I don't really have the money for it, but it is always nice to dream - that's why I bought a new pillow last night, I had guitars on my mind!

Just a Couple Ideas...

I had the fortunate benefit of conversing with a very good friend of mine via an email exchange. I asked her how she was, where she was, and how she was doing. She told me that she could see God in the faces of all the people that were around her as well as knowing that no matter where she is, she is at home because God is there with her. I have been marinating on that statement for a few days now. The deeper those words have sunk into my heart, the more I've come to know them to be true.

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How do you determine what you should let roll off your back and when you should turnaround and engage whomever or whatever angers or frustrates you? I think that it is a very fine line; each situation should be measured. I do not think that other people should be the target for any issues that have directly affected you. When life presses on your wishes and seems to be suffocating your dreams, it's those friends and families that love you that you must lean on just to save you from drowning.

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I hung up the phone after a short conversation with my sister yesterday and was left to only chuckle at the chaos that was developing on the other end of the call. She burst up laughing, nearly bleeding my ear with the suddenness of her joyous giggle. See, my sister's husband had a NERF basketball and tossed it to his son for him to catch. His little hands clasped in front of his face after the ball bounced off his head. He smiled and his little voice was full of happiness. At the same time, my sister tossed the ball she was holding in her hand towards her husband. It bounced off his head as well. As I heard the ensuing hilarity, I wished more than ever that I could have left my office and been there with them.

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I had the opportunity to attend Small Group last night at the home of some very good friends of mine. Surprisingly no games of Mexican Train dominoes, or Mah Jong, or RumiCube broke out. Instead we enjoyed a very thorough analysis of Nehemiah Ch. 1. M did a fantastic job putting the study into perspective as she provided an excellent contextual synopsis of the events that determined the model for the text. We discussed everything from pressing unresolved domestic issues as well as conflicts that are occurring presently in the Middle East. We resolved that prayer is an absolute necessity in such times; prayer for our country, and for the world's leaders as every decision they make impacts not only them but the world as a whole.

Life Changers

It is daunting at times to chose to explore a destination that you've never traveled to. It is even more intimidating when you realize that the territory is unchartered, that no man has ventured there before, and only educated guesses can be made regarding what will be seen and what will be found, what you will experience, what you will need, where you will hurt, how you will hurt, where you'll end up when the journey has concluded and most importantly how you will feel when it is over. I've made some life changing decisions. I want my life to be different. I have packed my bags, filling them with everything that I think I will need. I have secured communication devices (i.e., prayer) and negotiated binding contracts (i.e., accountability partner), I've tightened my shoes, secured my goggles, prepared my mind and landed at the start point with one purpose - to reach the end point (i.e., my goals) with a little bit of luck and a whole lot of hope (i.e., faith).

Mom and Dad

On New Year's Day, I had the opportunity to spend some time with my mom. She sat across from me and enjoyed her meal. She reminded me of a beaver that floats on their back snacking on fish and basking in the sun, except the sun was her son and the carefree approach was the blessing that time together has become. I looked over at her and smiled; amazing, she is truly amazing. There are times when I don't always think that despite my knowing it.

I find myself disappointed with her sometimes. She's said for me to reach for the stars, to go to new heights, to plunge into that reserve that I've neglected called determination and ride it to a new life. I've not done that to the extent I know I'm capable of. For every failure I blamed on her, or my father, I realized that they've already equipped me with the tools to succeed - should they be at fault when those tools aren't implemented.

As I walked to my car after our meal, I saw a young man with a shaved head, tattoos, a tank top and ear rings sitting on the curb underneath a small tree. What I heard coming from his mouth were utterances of a broken heart. His appearance did little to mask the transparency of the hurt that was spilling out of his mouth like a cold beer poured too fast. He sat there and said, "My parents aren't shit. I can't stand them." At the same time, I saw my mom getting into her car. Before she sat down she smiled so hard as to get her ears wet. I looked at the young man and then I looked back at her. I thought, I could never say that about my mom or my dad and mean it, I know they love me. I wished for a brief moment that I could trade places with the young man bleeding his heart out on his phone call. I wanted him to know what it is like to know you're loved and more especially to realize who loves him - mom and dad!

Walking Into 2009

Today is January 1st, the first day of a new year, and the first time that I am going to look forward with excitement at what is ahead instead of what has fallen behind. However, I am reminded of a saying that I once heard - in order to know where you are going, you have to know where you came from. So, I ask myself this question, where did I just come from?

The birds are singing outside, their small voices seem to be praising God for allowing them to see the sun rise and to be the first to be heard thanking God that it did. I don't hear traffic, the steady hum of cars passing on the freeway, I don't hear the click, clack of high heels scurrying to their cars, I don't hear car alarms beeping as they're turned off, engines running, lawnmowers chopping down grass - I hear birds singing. The birds sing every morning, but today their song is especially gratifying. I've felt like a child that sits brewing at hearing a "No" from his/her parents, feeling like the parent hates them, doesn't love them, doesn't care about what they've asked for or what they feel like they need, only to grow up and realize that "No", especially when they have the power to say "Yes" is probably the greatest gift they could give. They loved that child enough to say "No" but the child doesn't realize the power in that "No" until many years pass. After those many years, the child will sing the praises of their parents, with vigor the same as birds in the early morning. I find myself comparable to that child when I think about my relationship with God. I want to sing the song that the birds sing, but I've had trouble realizing the love in hearing "No."

I left a small gathering last night, and on the drive home, there were no incidents. The fog was heavy, heavy enough to cause me to have to use my windshield wipers. Heavy enough for me to have to slow down so I could see where I was going. I didn't want the speed of my car to exceed my visibility. Ironic, that the bible tells me that the word of God is like a lamp unto my feet. A lamp, at your feet only allows you to see just far enough to take the next step. It doesn't matter if you hold it up over your head and try to make out figures and objects many yards in front of you, your range of sight is limited. You find yourself having faith that if you keep moving, you'll reach your destination. I found myself realizing last night that if I wanted to get home, I had to keep moving. The fog was so heavy that even though I'd been home before, along the same route many times, I was required to drive slow enough to let the headlights provide a path for me to get home. I had to have faith that I would get there, even though I couldn't see the way. When did I stop realizing that God is the light that cuts through fog, illuminates the night and pierces the darkness?

I heard some of the most beautiful prayers in my life last night. I heard prayers from people who were so in love with God that tears of joy rolled off of their cheeks. I heard prayers of people so thankful for who God was in their life, who God is in their life, and who God will continue to be. I sat reminiscing on the days when I was that in love. It warmed my heart to see it and to hear it from my friends. It broke my heart to realize that I wasn't "feeling" it anymore. My dad would always tell me that he didn't care how I felt about doing something, if I was told to do something, I was expected to do it. When I went to grade school and was made fun of, my classmates didn't care about how their jokes made me feel, they continued on their unrelenting rampage of belittlement and ridicule. I learned lessons then that I feel like God has been trying for 30+ years to strip away from me...I reached into a box last night, after I'd prayed, "God help me to realize that my will is not your will. God help me to release this anger that has been building in my heart towards you." I held the card closer to my face, and it read, "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer. My God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is the shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" (Psalms 18:2). I realized immediately, regardless of how I felt and how I was feeling that he was always there and always has been there.

The traffic is picking up now. It sounds like a steady hum of a tuba with an occasionally horn bellowing a single note. Big trucks, small cars and fast motorcycles are again sprinting around the freeways like bugs in a field of flowers. Life has resumed, life in California has taken off. People are busy getting where they "have" to go, and working to get what they "have" to have. It is easy to lose the ability to be patient with God and his way of showing love when you live in an instant world. Even the birds have stopped singing, but only momentarily. The only time I quit hearing them is when I quit listening for them.

So where am I going now? Where have I been and where am I going? What is the first thing that I am going to look forward to with excitement? Only the year will tell. I am thankful to have been able to see a new one begin, and even happier for what it holds. I am even more thankful for my sister taking some time to pray for me last night. I am elated that my friends "see" me and love me anyway. I am glad that I go to Experience Church; being a part of that family is one of the greatest highlights of my life to this point.

Some thoughts that I take into the year:

Having the ability for excellence but settling on mediocrity, is the equivalent of being lazy.

Nobody remembers losers, choose carefully where you want to win.

For everything you blame on others, some of the fault has to be at your own feet.

Life is a gift, treat it as such!

Bad memories always override the good ones, be a good memory for the people around you.

Learn the power of forgiveness, it will change your life when you learn how to forgive yourself.

We all want what we don't have...learn the value of what you do have, it may change your perspective on what you "think" you're lacking.

Oh, one more thing...in iTunes they have celebrity playlists. I'm not a celebrity, but here's the playlist I started my day with...

1. "Come On (Let the Good Times Roll)" by Jimi Hendrix

2. "Good Morning Heartache" by Billie Holiday

3. "And I am Telling You I'm Not Going" Jennifer Holliday

4. "Adore" Prince

5. "Audience of One" Big Daddy Weave

6. "City Boy" Keb' Mo'

7. "Sideways" Santana featuring Citizen Cope

8. "His Way" Den Q.

9. "Heaven" Los Lonely Boys

10. "Can't Get You Off My Mind" Lenny Kravitz

11. "Come Back Baby" Eric Clapton

12. "Healer" Hillsong

I welcome 2009. I cannot wait to see what this year holds. Like my sister said to me last night, this year is it's own; don't carry any pain or frustration that you had last year into this one. Believe that God is leading you down the right path, be patient enough to follow His leading...how did she get so wise?