Thanks "Revolutionary Road..."

Every Sunday morning before church, I take a moment to put the television on mute. Currently it has been Boomer and T.J. that I'm requesting silence from so I may log onto www.postsecret.com. For some strange reason, I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. I want to find out if the pain others are enduring relate to or surpass my own. I was turned onto the site by an ex-girlfriend. On our first date, we went to a book store. We walked up and down each aisle until we found multiple Post Secret books. I marveled at the randomness...strangeness, uniqueness of all the entries. Some people talked about being racist against their own race, or secretly wishing some people would die, how they married the safe man, how they're Christians, but hated the idea of church. I read the secrets that people carry around but due to fear of uncertain reprisals, only feel safe in sharing their secret anonymously. I'm under the impression that we all have some, some worse than others, and most not even worth taking up time in a meeting to discuss, but nonetheless we all have them.

For me, I love watching movies. When I walk into the theater, I am of the mind that I am going to check out from my life. I am going to become the characters that I'm watching flicker in darkness. I am going to try and understand the message the director, the actors and the author of the screenplay are trying to convey. Of course the beauty in art is that the message is left to individual interpretation. I saw a movie tonight where courage was unceremoniously defined as conformity and radicalism, "outside the box" thinking was defined as lunacy. Strange then that the truth was that conformity is discombobulating and radicalism is courage. One character made the statement, "No one forgets the truth, we just get better at lying."

Are dreams truly attainable, or do they remain out of reach because the "truth" in why they aren't being pursued is so unnerving that the possibility of failure is unfathomable and disconcerting? It has been for me; after watching Revolutionary Road I'm asking myself what I will say about myself after a life changing experience? I am left to only surmising my mental state as being an optimistic realist - the reality of the dream doesn't often match the realness of attaining the dream.