1: Good Grief!

There is nothing as humbling as being in a situation where you find that being brought down off the proverbial perch of self-righteousness is both unexpected and unfathomably needed. So was the case, this weekend, for me - I was humbled. I found out that I have a tendency to "talk" too much, to not ask enough questions, to find pleasure in self-deprecating humor, and to think the worse of a situations end before I am even aware of the beginning. I also found out, after listening to a wise-cracking, genius of a witty man's sermon, that happiness can only be attained when life is being lived in service to purpose. How many people truly know what their purpose is? How many people, who know what their purpose is, embrace the realities that come with being dedicated to a craft, a practice, a life that is beyond them? I know for a fact that relationships, hobbies, classes, minuscule fulfilled goals are doing absolutely nothing to quell the feelings of restlessness that are running in my mind like millions of fleas in a small jar. When I'm sleeping, I wish I was awake. When I'm talking, I'd rather be listening. When I'm playing, I feel like I should be working, and when I'm waiting, I feel as though I should be doing. I feel like a child being told to sit still when everyone else is at recess. I believe these "feelings" come because I've yet to realize my purpose, although my girlfriend has been kind enough to present me with a couple of ideas. Ideas that I had to listen to; she is right.