So Annoying!

There are a few things that really annoy me. I mean annoying to the point of feeling like spitting on epitaphs and cursing old ladies. So annoying this thing can be, you'd want to tear up a phone book or scream in the ear of nun during prayer. OK, it may not be that bothersome, but it sure as heck feels like it sometimes. Everybody that drives has driven in such a way to annoy somebody else. Slow drivers ask, "What's up with them?" when people are driving fast. Aggressive drivers get peeved when slow drivers are in the fast lane. People that make right turns from the middle of the lane wonder why most people make right turns from the bicycle lane. Joggers don't like people walking on the sidewalk, cyclists don't like runners on the pavement and drivers don't like cyclists that ride in the middle of the lane like they're a car. All of these things, howbeit ever so debilitating to your senses and well being, won't kill you but they may cost you some money - how many of us have slipped our way through a yellow light hoping it wouldn't turn red...awww man, I just saw a flash!? Even though all the aforementioned stuff is about as annoying as a bee in a sleeping bad, parking lot tail-gaters take the cake, especially when you're at the same grocery store and more especially when you are in your apartment complex. They pull so close behind you that their windows fog up from your car's exhaust. They ride their horn like their arms are weighted in lead. If you're turning left, they're trying to pass you on the left. If you're turning right, they're trying to pass you on the right too. You have one chance, no more, no less, to get your car into the correctly designated space. You grit your teeth, lean your body up and peer down at the front of your car. You start to make that swooping right to get into your space on the left. You concentrate, looking in the rear view mirror with a stink face to rival city employees cleaning up pigeon poo - leaning in you make the turn. No damage to your car, no damage to the cars beside you, just a feeling of relief because you felt hurried. Not me, not anymore, from now on, like my friend Tina said, "Whasssup fool, you's just gonna to have ta wait, peeeriood, dude!"