The Only Time Failure is Permanent is When You Quit Trying!

Tomorrow, I am going to see myself in a video that tracks activities that have occurred at the place of worship I attend for the duration of 2008. The video is going to show the weight that I was at, and the weight that I am currently at. It is going to show that I have gained a significant amount of weight, in comparison to the same amount that I lost. I have gained back, to be completely candid 30+ pounds. I am disappointed with my apparent failure, but optimistic for what the future holds.

When I think about all of the things that I have lost as a result of being overweight, I am saddened, but reflective on the journey that has brought me to a point of knowing that I have to do something about it if I literally want to save my life. The funny thing about weight issues are that they are apparent. When you see someone that is overweight, they are stripped of any privacy when it comes to their failures. That can make for moments of feeling extremely vulnerable, feeling ashamed, wanting to hide behind bigger clothes and non-physical activities, and turning down and leaving behind dreams and desires because you don't feel like you fit in.

For every "overweight" person I've met, there is a story with their struggle. Their struggle is apparent, because the weight is often the first thing people see when they are seen. But thin people have problems too, not to play the thin-envy card, but every person living, regardless of age, gender, height, weight, orientation, religion, culture - has a vice, a struggle, an obstacle that prevents them from truly being all they can be or from truly enjoying all that they've worked for. I am no different in that regard; no different. When I am seen, you see my struggle. It has been food, but I refuse to let it win.

I am making a pledge; very public it is indeed, not only to myself, but to the readers of my blog - I intend to be here a long time so I have a goal of losing a "whole person" worth of weight in the next year and a half. I am going to check in periodically charting my progress. I am making my goal and then this blog will be the first in many to come where failure becomes success and what once left me feeling vulnerable will be the fuel to keep me strengthened and enabled. I am built to succeed. I have lost 5 lbs. this week, I've a few more to go. :-D